A Vicious Circle

I'm not getting anywhere. I'm wandering around like a mindless fool just trying to get by. I want to break away from the cycle, but I've already licked the lollipop of mediocrity and I'm reaping what I've sown. It's time to suck forever, right?

Wrong.

I've never lost faith in myself. I may have dwindled in confidence and succumbed to my emotions, but I can never allow myself to hit rock-bottom. I'm just so caught up in trying to break my habits that frustration begins to overwhelm my efforts. My parents haven't been of much help either. I know that they can only affect me if I allow them to, but damn- that which was once my greatest motivation has become my greatest debilitation.

I may not be strong, but I'm strong enough. I'm still pressing on for my fighting chance. I can still prove to myself that I have what it takes. Hello, AP Fiziks Exam.

I may not be able to recover from all the slack I've put up in Quarter 3, but my situation isn't hopeless. Senioritis is stupid. Like Earnest wrote in his evaluation, "...it is not real if you do not allow yourself to believe it." It is true that I've been running around in this vicious circle, but on the bright side: I'm not standing still. 

I really don't have a plan of attack right now; I guess I'm going to take the next few weeks as it comes. There's this phrase taped on Mr. Hopgood's wall that has always caught my attention: READY FIRE AIM. Robert E. Morgan tied that in with John Lennon's quote of "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans." Perhaps I need to cut down on the overpreparation and just Go! How do I expect to reach the finish line if I don't even start? 

I swear, I really need accountability. 

Mmmmm, 3rd quarter has definitely been disappointing. But, my experiences work together for the greater good. As long as I never give up, I'll do just fine. Mr. T never ceases to remind me that I WILL make it through. I just have to "hang in there". If there's anything that I've gained from this Quarter, it would be acceptance. I'm not too worried about my grade anymore, I'll accept what I deserve. My focus is the AP Exam, and that alone.

I THINK I CAN. I THINK I CAN. I KNOW I CAN. I WILL. [pass the AP exam]

Impossible you say? Well...

Impossibility simple means I'M POSSIBILITY. Hehehe.