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The Farewell Blog.

This will be my last self-evaluation blog entry. *BIG SMILE HERE*

Essential Questions:
1. Total Number of Hours on your time log
-- Up until the unfortunate incident that ruined my Fiziks binder, I remember at least 80 hours logged into that sheet, most of which were collected during Spring Break. I haven't created a new time log, and that's my fault. -_-

2. Planner Check
-- I actually started the year off with my parents signing my planner every Friday. However, a few months into the school year, I began to think that it was only for Tillay's other
students and it didn't apply to us. Because of this, I stopped asking for my parent's signature.
I have proof in my planner of the sudden change.

3. Have you returned ALL TXTBOOKS to Mr. T/Library?
-- YES, I HAVE. I AM 100% SURE. Trust me, I don't want those books!

4. My project will be done tomorrow, and done well too!
-- I'd like to go inbetween the yes and no, but that doesn't work in the real world, so: NO. It will not be done in terms of Tillay's standards. Honestly, I'm scared to publish all that I've been working on.

5. I have paid for my Kaplan Guide.
-- YES. Thanks for providing us with the discount Mr. T!

---

MY EFFORT THE LAST 4 WKS: Very Good. In comparison to the effort I exerted towards Fiziks, this was most definitely better. I enjoy projects on this nature as you will see in my "The Processes I Do Best" section. It seemed obvious to me that the reason for my effort was because I was actually enthusiastic about the subject.

TURNING IN WORK LAST 4 WKS: Poor. In the beginning, I turned in the pre-work for the website. But as I kept working on it I decided not to publish it, which is basically our the form of submitting it so Tillay can keep you on track. I was scared to publish it any more after the first time, ahhh.. my mind was just being really stupid and made no sense.

DECRIBE YOURSELF AS A STUDENT (5 SENTENCES): I have a dual personality as a student. On my good days, I work to be the best and strive for perfection. On my not-so-good days, Im an "avergae joe" who gets the work done only when convenient. Hmmm, this can only mean one thing: I'm NOT a student, or at least, I shouldn't be considered one in comparison to the rest of the world.

HOW DO YOU NEED TO IMPROVE? It's the same problem over and over again. I need to take a hold of my emotions and personal issues before it takes a hold of me. Akk the flaws I exert are directly rekated to my mood and mindset. Instead of trying to fix the small glitches, it would be best to work on the source of the problem. Improving this area of my life will be tough, -_-.

WHAT GRADE HAVE YOU EARNED FOR 4th QTR/2ND SEM? -->B<--
I haven't acted like an 'A 'student all year. I've been mediocre in that I've succumbed to the 'B' and remained fine with it. A 'C' would not be justified because I DO do work, despite my circumstances (which shouldn't even be interfering in the first place!)




SO LONG, FARWELL, GOOD RIDDANCE?

Ahhh.. I'm sleepy! All-nighters truly kill bodily functions. Good Night Blogger.

A Vicious Circle

I'm not getting anywhere. I'm wandering around like a mindless fool just trying to get by. I want to break away from the cycle, but I've already licked the lollipop of mediocrity and I'm reaping what I've sown. It's time to suck forever, right?

Wrong.

I've never lost faith in myself. I may have dwindled in confidence and succumbed to my emotions, but I can never allow myself to hit rock-bottom. I'm just so caught up in trying to break my habits that frustration begins to overwhelm my efforts. My parents haven't been of much help either. I know that they can only affect me if I allow them to, but damn- that which was once my greatest motivation has become my greatest debilitation.

I may not be strong, but I'm strong enough. I'm still pressing on for my fighting chance. I can still prove to myself that I have what it takes. Hello, AP Fiziks Exam.

I may not be able to recover from all the slack I've put up in Quarter 3, but my situation isn't hopeless. Senioritis is stupid. Like Earnest wrote in his evaluation, "...it is not real if you do not allow yourself to believe it." It is true that I've been running around in this vicious circle, but on the bright side: I'm not standing still. 

I really don't have a plan of attack right now; I guess I'm going to take the next few weeks as it comes. There's this phrase taped on Mr. Hopgood's wall that has always caught my attention: READY FIRE AIM. Robert E. Morgan tied that in with John Lennon's quote of "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans." Perhaps I need to cut down on the overpreparation and just Go! How do I expect to reach the finish line if I don't even start? 

I swear, I really need accountability. 

Mmmmm, 3rd quarter has definitely been disappointing. But, my experiences work together for the greater good. As long as I never give up, I'll do just fine. Mr. T never ceases to remind me that I WILL make it through. I just have to "hang in there". If there's anything that I've gained from this Quarter, it would be acceptance. I'm not too worried about my grade anymore, I'll accept what I deserve. My focus is the AP Exam, and that alone.

I THINK I CAN. I THINK I CAN. I KNOW I CAN. I WILL. [pass the AP exam]

Impossible you say? Well...

Impossibility simple means I'M POSSIBILITY. Hehehe.

John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.

To be able to identify my weaknesses allows me to be able to appreciate my strengths. 

John allows one to appreciate Johann. Make sense?

John is cool. He is able to bullshit work and pass throughout the day in complete satisfaction because he knows that he is capable of whizzing through classes regurgitating crap and in return, is awarded five points and a gold star. He sleeps in his 2nd period class with an earphone in each ear, waking up to find that the bell indicating the passing period to 3rd had already rung. He loves math to the extent of his love for sushi, the raw components are what matter to him. Hmmm, so as much as he excels in math, why does problem-solving come so rocky?

Application is the forsaken word. Integrating concepts to solve word problems is just one step too many. Words and math shouldn't mix. That's his basic philosophy. John is the product of his surroundings. He can't help it. He's conformed into the ways of the oblivious Apache and there's no going back. Ok- well maybe there is, but he's content right where he's at. Why change when it's not mandatory? Ignorance is bliss and bliss > change anyday baby.

John loves staying up all night running on a Rockstar. He's smart because he does the work. From the beginning of middle school, he's noticed that his teachers could care less about the road taken, as long as he gets to the destinati

on. Result? All-nighters it is.

A master procrastinator once said, "I work better under pressure". These immortal words seem to always justify John's lack of initiative. As much as the work is intended for the home, John sees that his home just doesn't seem to be intended for the work. John comes home taking for granted that time does indeed possess wings. The night is never young, the day is just too old and it keeps getting older. But oblivious little John ignorantly skips past that little detail. Time management, HA!

John likes to think he can suppress his emotions and act as if everything's okay. He challenges himself to put up a front and not let such emotions affect his "education". John's in way over his heels. As cool as he is, he cracks. He may not wear his emotions on his sleeve, but there's always that point when the force overcomes the shelf of control and it collapses. Although he's recovered and is running a net torque of zero right now (aka equilibrium), he's realized that it's too much of a risk to let that happen again. Luckily, John's a happy camper right now. 

John, John, John--- Center of attention in Fiziks, yet completely under the radar the rest of the day. Tillay just has the incredible perception to see right through the John-ness monster, weaknesses and all...

JOHANN CHRISTINE REYES ALCARAZ:

She's the real thing, just overshadowed.

As much as life is worth living, I make it a point that I live to make mine worthwhile. I've learned to never hesitate in pursuing my dreams and desires, and to never underestimate myself because I know the extent of my potential and capabilities. My life is lived in the company of my best friend, my boyfriend, and a select few who have proven their solid genuine friendship. I am one to pay attention to the finer points and notice the subtleties. I am a Christian and my faith is in my Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. I am currently a senior aspiring to attend UC Berkeley this Fall. I firmly believe that an About Me concentrated with arbitrary facts never has and never will suffice in truly portraying the person I am.

Above is a Copy & Paste from Johann's Myspace.

She has that worker attitude to the point where she WILL get it done. She takes criticism and underestimation and channels it towards proving to others that she's better than what you think of her. She may not be the coolest person, but it's a fair trade-off for success. Once you get her mind started, it keeps going and going and going and going. She likes to analyze things, overanalyze perhaps. It worked to her benefit sometimes because it's become habti for her to dig deep rather than to stay at the surface. She's not shallow, I can tell you that much.

She's very open-minded. With a business/entrepreneurial mindset instilled, skepticism escapes her. The world is a sphere filled with potential and she understands that. She may not be label liberal but she's one to willingly consider change. With that said, her learning experience is dynamically sound. She isn't stagnant on her educational growth nor is she completely set on her educational approach. Some say that change shows vulnerability and unstableness, but in the correct F.O.R., it truly is improvement. 

[& the fact that she comes from so-and-so high school brings to her attention that college is going to be an even bigger bitch. If she chooses to remain unmindful to that harsh reality, she'll never be able to confront the face of fear- and she knows that.]  

She has a good head on her shoulders and her priorities in life are set straight. She has two feet planted firmly on the ground when it comes to her values and her goals. She is strong-willed and assertive when the situation calls for it. She loves being the underdog and being undermined by those who know nothing about her or her background, because the opportunity for that "In yo' face" look is worth it all to her. She may be prideful, but it's her pride that keeps her going to an extent. She knows her limits and understands that balance is essential in life. 

With life being a continuous learning process and improvent opportunity, she steadily works to raise her emotional moment of inertia. When Johann isn't satisified, she does something about it. Point blank, period.

Did I mention she loves math? It just clicks for her. If anything, with the combined efforts of a more visually conceptual mind like Big E's, and her linear sequqntial reasoning and passion for numbers, wonderous things can result as due to collaboration.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

So what's the point? Johann this, John that... yakkety yakkety yak.

Each side is an extreme and of course, a mixture of the two characteristics make up who I am. I have my John days and I have my Johann days. It's inevitable to escape one or the other because one offsets the other and that's the beauty of it. Strengths and weaknesses depict the person, not the success. It's the approach and the utlization of the knowledge of such strengths and weaknesses that bring about the achievements.

John hates Fiziks and Johann endures. Weakness & Strength, personified.

Once Upon a Semester--

NOTE: All these pictures were taken today.

My name is Johann Alcaraz, also known as "John" for the sake of Jsquared- my dual personality. Mr. T has given me and my classmates the opportunity to create our own type of evaluation. I'm not sure how to come about in doing this, but I'll attempt anyways:

It's 1:54 a.m. and I'm pretty darn tired. However, I had just drank a Rockstar so although I'm tired, I'm not sleepy. I don't know if my brain is being weird, but I'm thinking of evaluating myself on the terms of my home life as it pertains to my study habits. Perhaps this may enlighten you on my apparent "slacking" status and as to the reason why I'm even awake at this hour. You see, for the past couple of weeks, I've slept before midnight-- but as a consequence, I never finished my Fiziks homework in advance and 90% 

of the time, I end up finishing it at school, or even, not at all. But today, I actually want to do some work and have something to show for it. I realize that I haven't turned

 in an assignment in a while.. tsk tsk tsk.

-------------------------------------------------

On your right is my bed. Scattered among it are

 my Fiziks workbooks.
1. Hewitt Concept Development: I love this workbook. I use it a lot to help me understand the fundamentals of any concept that Giancoli boggles my mind with. I've also photocopied the whole workbook so that I may write/draw in it, especially when it comes to excercises with diagrams and pictures.

2. Giancoli Problem-Solving: I use this sparingly and not as much as I should. When muddling through Fiziks Qs and Ps, I sometimes resort to checking if the Q or P is listed in there, and if so, I use it. 

3. Hickman Problem-Solving: I've yet to touch this. So far, it's been just another book on that bookshelf of mine.  

Next picture: Study Place 2. I usually have a laptop on that minitable with the computer chair, but it is currently in my dad's po

ssession. This is where I us

ually do my Cornell notes (typed of course) and my Giancoli Qs and Ps. Do notice that my bed is only a few feet away from that area- the biggest temptation in the world is to take a nap and tell myself "I'll wake up at 2:00 a.m. and finish it then." YEAH RIGHT. Countless times I have fallen into that lethargic state waking up into the next day with 15 minutes to get to school for Leadership, and with incomplete homework assignments. Lately, I've been so tired that even if I force myself to try and concentrate, I just go to sleep. It's been a habit and because of it, I've fallen behind on the past 2 units

. Yet another shame. But LUCKILY, I've recently just found a way (recently as in today) to rid myself of that temptation. It's working now so I'm planning on implementing it daily. Check out Study Place 3.

The dining table works wonders! I wonder why I hadn't thought of it before!

Alright, so here's what I'm thinking:
I'm making a pact with myself. I am going to finish or at least try and work on at least one Fiziks assignment every night. Mr. T is right: Cramming is useless in this course. I need to get back on track-- I've succumbed to my emotions long enough and I refuse to let it affect my education. Cmon John, move aside and let Johann have the floor for second semester..please!

Here's my plan: Don't even worry about making up the past 2 units just yet. Focus on the current unit and reviewing what you can for Wednesday's final. Once the week is over, REST. After a weekend of resting, pick up where you left off and catch up gradually. Once you return to school, it'll be a New Year. As cliche as it sounds, START FRESH. Oh, and ask Earnest to be an accountability buddy and keep you in check. You can't go at this alone..
P.S. Start doing homework at the dining table. :]

Study Place 4: This is located inside my parent's bedroom and is the ONLY computer with internet/printer access in the house. It is the 2nd most fought-after item in the house (#1 being the remote control). Sometimes, I go 3-5 days without finding an open slot to get online. But with it being currently 3:08 a.m. right now, competition is sleeping hehe.

With this computer, I log into Fusion, Gmail, Blogger, and.....Myspace -__- (as seen on the screen )

I've yet to use the Section Links from Fusion, but I love the almost-always-up-to-date calendar that lets me know what's coming up in class.  As for Gmail, I use it a lot a lot a lot a lot. But what I need improvement on is my COMMUNICATION with Mr. T. A socratic dialogue has escaped me once again. I must admit- I kinda miss spending a few hours online collaborating with my classmates in finishing a lab over Gmail's Share feature and talking it over in a chatroom. [Note to Mr. T: Bring back labs please? I guess it's true that you don't miss something until it's gone...] Oh, and if you haven't noticed, I'm missing an evaluation blog from the previous report card time. Yeah, I never did it. The signs of my slacking abound, but I'm determined to come back around in the second semester- heck, I'm starting now.

It feels good knowing I was productive throughout the day. As I look back on the past weeks since Thanksgiving, I frown at the time I've wasted. My homework log has not been touched for a month. It's a shame. But coming back up is never impossible.

Yeah, this evaluation may not be the norm-- but it's served as a good recollection for me. 

Now, the question remains: What grade do I believe I've EARNED?

==> Grade Right Now: C.

==> Grade-To-Date (Cumulative): A- 

Because of my recent performance, I don't think I deserve very much. However, taking into account that this is my SEMESTER grade, I do feel as if I've earned an A- throughout the time, work, and effort I've spent for this class from the beginning of the school year until now. 

Right now, I think I'll consider myself on probation with that A-. I need to prove to myself, Mr. T., and my classmates, that I am worth that A- and 2nd Semester is gonna hit 'em hard. 

This semester has been a growing experience for me. It's also a 'first' experience for me in terms of letting my emotions and drama take over my focus on education. I've lived through it and I've learned and am continuing to learn through it. If I am to relate it to the current unit:

I need more momentum. Rushing and cramming (velocity) won't do it, so the only other ingredient left is force. I need to get back to that certain level of DISCIPLINE.

Once upon a semester, Jsquared worked harder, and not smarter, until it got to the point where she gave in and gave up. Will she stay down? Will she rise back and endure? Tune in next semester and find out! 

"...due before 9:00 p.m.? Are you serious?"

Note: You may click the above picture to enlarge it :)

21. If you noticed, I circled both 4 and 5 in #20. I believe John deserves a 4, but Johann deserves a 5. Therefore, as Jsquared, a 4+/5- should suffice. When it comes to doing my homework, I'm USUALLY on point. However, when it comes to STUDYING and MASTERY, it's obvious that I'm not at my best. I believe I do much better on my Lab Write-Ups than I do on my Quizzes. I do much better with the Giancoli Questions than I do with the Problems. I do the work and exert effort, that I know for sure. However, considering that this is an AP course, I know I'm not up to par.

Don't get me wrong, I still strive for excellence. But right now, I guess you could say I'm strategizing until I can get both my feet into the Fiziks water. I know that Labs and Quizzes are weighed the same, and since I know I don't do as well with the Quizzes, I spend time on my Labs. In addition, as minor as this factor may seem to others, I believe I truly excel when it comes to organization. I take pride in my USB and Notebook, more on my USB though (hehe).

As I mentioned in my last evaluation, the person I described in my summer autobiography assignment has been dormant. My full potential is yet to be unleashed. "So, what are you waiting for Jsquared?", you may ask. Well, you see, you're gonna have to switch to my F.O.R. to understand the delay. And for that, you must read on...

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22. STRENGTH #1- Organization. I realized how good I am at this when I caught your T.A., Raymond Sapida, muttering, "Damn, that's hella organized," as he clicked through the AP Fiziks Folder on my USB. If anything, it's one thing I can be proud of. Other people actually struggle with this, and I'm glad I'm not one of them. It may be such a small thing to say is a strength, but nonetheless, I know it will be beneficial to me in the long-run. I can find anything I want or need at any time. I don't need to waste precious hours searching for handouts when I could've been starting on my work already. There are already not enough hours in the day, why make it worst by using up a good hour just looking for something?

STRENGTH #2- Labs. I may not be the best lab-writer YET, but I actually think I do well with my lab write-ups. I'm still improving on "working smarter" with my lab group, but when it comes to individual effort, I can honestly say I put 110% into the labs. I also do this in hopes that it would buffer my not-so-good Quiz scores. Also, the feeling of accomplishment after completing a lab is rewarding to me. I'm happy after a lab well done. A shoutout to Earnest Salgado for those late nights and early mornings of lab works: "Thanks!"

STRENGTH #3- Determination. As low as my self-esteem sometimes gets, I never consider quitting. My parents would always offer me the option of switching to a regular class, but what they don't understand is that I get more out of this class than just mere Physics. I am educated in a whole different way because of this very class. I'd rather get a B staying in this AP course than an A in a regular class- although, an A in Physics is waaaaay better (teehee). My determination prevails in times of stress. I owe a lot to it for getting me where I am today.

I.NEED.TO.IMPROVE #1- Problem-Solving Skills. Urgh, I need a lot of improvement here. I know I need to work on them daily, but that really isn't going very well for me. So, this is what I'm going to do about it: I'm going to take advantage of Tuesday afternoons, after school. I'll be in your classroom problem-solving my ass off until you get sick of my face (that is, if you're not already). Haha, just kidding. But you get my point right? Practice makes perfect, but I guess I'm the type who needs a bit of guidance while practicing.

I.NEED.TO.IMPROVE #2- Becoming an "Above-and-Beyonder". I have goals and I surely don't want to settle for a 5 by the time the end of the year approaches. Right now, a 6 is too much to ask for considering what I've put in to attain it. However, in the future, that 6 will be within my reach. I just need to improve on going above and beyond by (a) using the supplementary books more, (b) taking advantage of the section links on Fusion, (c) doing extra studying with material outside of what Mr. Tillay provides to the class.

I.NEED.TO.IMPROVE #3- Socratic Dialogue. I think I'm doing okay in this. I communicate, but I feel like sometimes you have to push the class before they start communicating. I want to get to the point where it's second-nature. When you sent the email to me about extending the Lab deadline, I realized that I wasn't communicating very well. Hopefully, those upcoming after-school Tuesdays will affect this.

---

23. Right now, I define/interpret Physics as what it is NOT. I realize now that it is NOT memorization and regurgitation. Rather than memorizing the formulas, it's better if I understand it. For example, Newton's Second Law: force may equal mass times acceleration, but what does that really mean?

Physics is NOT cramming and it is NOT multiple-choice. Unlike Biology (which I had last year), I cannot do a crash course on the subject the day before the Quiz. I also cannot rely on chance to favor my logical thinking when it comes to those Quizzes. Multiple-choice is only a baby fish, while the Essay and Problem-Solving are the bigger fish to fry.

Physics is NOT based on scientific facts, it is based on application. Physics allows us to understand how but more importantly, why things work. We learn Physics by DOING it.

---

24. First and foremost, I want to say "Thanks Mr. Tillay!" for all that you've already done in attempts of getting the class to become better students. In my case, a buttload of problem-solving help would be greatly appreciated. As you already know, I will be coming in every Tuesday after school. Problem-solving with Tillay- I'm expecting the frustration but I'll always remember that "It's only the first hundred years that are hard."

---

25. Honestly, the Tillay Problem-Solving Handout isn't the best way for me to learn. Perhaps "Problem Solving On Demand" would work better for me. By that I mean: doing a problem on the board, but through dialogue. Instead of you just showing us how to do the problem, get us involved in the problem-solving steps. If that means calling us out, then so be it. I'd rather feel the pressure to answer/contribute something to the problem than just watch how it should be done, or see corrections being done on problems other people had solved during Boardwork. I'm the type to learn from my mistakes, so the more mistakes I make.. the more I learn.

---

26. EARNEST SALGADO aka Big E. Overall, he has helped me with all aspects of the class. We argue about the concepts sometimes, but it always ends up in both of us gaining knowledge. He's helped me through problem-solving and stuck with me through the labs. He pushes me to not slack off and motivates me to "beast", as he calls it.

MAUREEN TIGNO. I've only experienced working on two labs with her, but she was a great lab partner to work with. Our collaborations through chatrooms and the Share feature on Gmail were instrumental in my 'studying'.

RAYMOND SAPIDA. Although he's not a student, he WAS one. He's been through the class and survived. He gives me tips on what to do, but just enough to get me thinking. I appreciate that he doesn't take the easy way to just give me the answers, but rather, he provides me with hints. He takes time to help me through things I don't understand, especially when Tillay has his hands full with other matters. Recently, he helped me get through Lab#4 (18)- Atwood's Machine. He's done so much...

---

27. My Time Log currently has 54 entries (including this evaluation assignment). Assuming that I finish this no later than 8:45 p.m., my total hours add up to 68 hours and 25 minutes.

Seeing as that I will be working on extra assignments after this, I estimate the final sum to be around 75 hours.

---

28. As you've probably already noticed, I blog in this post outside evaluations. The content of those blogs describe my concerns towards how I'm approaching this class. Recently, I've been going through a lot of emotional times, especially with my parents. The previous blog should be able to give you a general idea of what's happening. I haven't turned in recent assignments (i.e., Notebook check, Cornell Chp. 5, and Questions Chp. 5) because of those problems. I'll be getting those done tonight though, I hope. I also stayed home from school today as well because of the problems. I didn't want to go to school being all "emo" as we kids call it, so I thought it a better choice to stay home and work on the labs. Anyways, my skin is getting thicker with each passing day, but I'm still a bit unstable. If anything, do know that I'm always putting in effort in this class. It's the least I can do.

Slacking Indeed.

Yes, I know. I'm slacking. But please, cut me some slack.

I understand that there are billions of more unfortunate people than I am with their problems, but these problems are still my own. Who am I to complain? Well, I'm human.


Johann Christine's Blurbs
About me:
SENIOR. Dealing with the bullshit and rising above it. Time flies like paper planes freal. I mean, the first quarter is about to end and college apps for the UC system are due by the end of November. Plus I'm slacking in AP Fiziks and Lit. Reality bites, but I guess I'll bite back.
UPDATED 100408 (7:02 p.m.)

That's a copy+paste from my Myspace.

Let's start off with that bullshit:
1. My parents. They don't realize how negatively they affect me. I'd rather not ramble on with accusations and stuff, but my self-esteem is low low low low. Although I'm biting my tongue now, my hysterical crying makes up for the void between my parents and myself. I'm a girl and I'm emotional, you can understand that right? Anyways, this topic is a blog in itself.

2. Teejay Bacud. Like I said, I'm a girl and I'm emotional. Relating to above, my parents made me choose between Teejay and my family. Now before you make any prejudgments, he has had one of the most positive impacts on my life. So what is the basis of this "you have to choose"? Well, again.. that's for another blog.

Ok ok, rewind: SO WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THIS BLOG MEANT FOR AP FIZIKS?

Mr. Tillay, I'm slacking and I know I can't let personal affairs get in the way of my education. I'm still trying, but it's hard to concentrate on homework and labs sometimes when my eyes are swollen from so much crying and I have a headache I can't sleep off.

I'm not going to give up on the course. And I'm sure I'll bounce back up.

But basically, this week has been sklhglashgfauishfklashgdasffk.

--> I wonder if Mr. Tillay really is reading these posts. Heh.

It Takes a Sty...

Today I missed school. That's something I rarely ever do. Even in sickness, I make an effort to make it to my classes. But today, I was in no condition to go. I couldn't see through one eye and pain was the prevalent feeling everytime I blinked. I knew that going to school would be pointless since I'd be more focused on my symptoms than the work. So I stayed home.

Lying in bed past 6:00 a.m. was awkward. With Leadership before school and extracurriculars after school, I'm used to being a busybody from the time I get up to the time I lay my head to sleep- that is, if I even decide to sleep that day.

At 10:00, my mom brought me to my pediatrician, Dr. Nguyen. She diagnosed the "thing" as a sty with an added infection and allergy.

Afterwards, I ate at McDonalds then went home. I laid in my bed, wondering what I could've been doing at that time. "11:34. Hmm, I'd probably be in Mr. Hopgood's class editing his gradebook or doing my Calculus homework."

Step back.

"Wait, why is it that I can never do my Calculus homework at home anyways?"

Reflect.

"Oh yeah, I have other homework that I do first."

Analyze.

"No, that's not right. If I spend so much time doing my homework to the point where I deprive myself of sleep, why is it that I can't get it all done regardless of the amount?"

Analyze some more.

"If anything, I should be able to be one step ahead of the class with all those extra hours that I put in."

Compare.

"I wonder if Earnest or Raymond are like this. They're always so chill at school and about school work. "

Realize.

"Yeah, I'm definitely working too hard. I care too much about the homework that I neglect the studying. I stay up late trying to catch up, and it results in me being more tired the next day, and the next day, until it all builds up and I crash."

Commit.

"I need to do something. Starting today, I'm on a clean slate. We're starting a new unit in Physics, so I need not worry about the past. I'll do it right this time. I'll make it a point not to sleep past 1:00 a.m. everyday. Errrr- wait no, that's too big a stretch. Hmmm, I'll make sure that I'll actually get some form of sleep everyday. Yeah, that's it."


It took a sty, a swollen eye, a painful cry. To keep me home. And realize. Without compromise.

Hmm, better late than never.

Food for thought c/o Big E

This conversation was held about an hour ago. My lab group and I usually host a chatroom as a means of collaboration (along with Gmail), and since we're human, we tend to go off on a tangent on subjects other than the lab. This particular portion really convicted me though. Big E showing his stripes.

[21:47] johannsays: oh btw, you get tillays new post on your blog?
[21:57] iheartKDramas: he should have aim since he says he's has 3 computers up in his office... must get bored
[21:57] johannsays: true
[21:57] Air Salgado: not aiming with me
[21:57] iheartKDramas: me neither
[21:57] Air Salgado: but yeah i seen his comment on my blogspot
[21:57] Air Salgado: i wonder why he came back to give another one
[22:00] Air Salgado: i kinda get what hes saying
[22:00] Air Salgado: id honestly give up my a+ for everyone to have a's
[22:00] iheartKDramas: ahh cause sharing is caring :3
[22:01] Air Salgado: we needa get everyone on the same mode to want to collaborate
[22:02] johannsays: yeah, true
[22:02] Air Salgado: like sometimes i feel like people just want to get theirs first and help when they have time
[22:02] Air Salgado: we need to get into thinking that helping is how we get ours
[22:03] iheartKDramas: mhmm
[22:03] Air Salgado: im saying man, thats how we get low grades in calculus
[22:03] johannsays: thats how the school system teaches and molds us though
[22:03] johannsays: individual effort
[22:03] iheartKDramas: yeah
[22:03] Air Salgado: we gotta be able to have a higher mind
[22:04] Air Salgado: no style is my style haha word up to bruce lee

johannsays- Johann Alcaraz
Air Salgado- Earnest Salgado
iheartKDramas- Maureen Tigno